With old age homes burgeoning like never before and vivid media tales of the frail and elderly being left lonely and uncared; it has become the norm to deplore the younger generation……be it for lack of values, lack of concern, lack of sensitivity and a general lack of what it takes to be a good and worthy child.
In India, I would say it is a 50-50 scenario with about half the offsprings actually standing true to this appraisal and becoming increasingly selfish and callous with little or no tolerance for the older generation. But thankfully, the other half have neither forgotten their roots nor suffer from amnesia as far as values are concerned. And it might be a bitter pill to swallow for the senior generation but the fact of the matter is that very often parents too are not at their offsprings sides in the hour of need. Generalisation often distorts facts because every equation is different and unique. There can be no blanket hypothesis and no universal laws.
One such discussion sent me into a labyrinth of contemplation. On whose doorstep can we lay the blame for the fact that the earlier generations were more considerate and empathetic and the contemporary ones are not? I believe that the shift from the home turf to brighter and better horizons is a major contributing factor. In earlier times, children were effortlessly and seamlessly absorbed into the family business or enterprise. Those who opted for variety in employment usually chose it in or around the home stead. And by default, they were always close at hand when the need arose. Secondly, thanks to the children being more in number, the onus of responsibility was shared. The single- child model puts a lot of pressure on the child not only in terms of performance but also of expectations.
The exodus of the youth to distant lands and even across seas in search of better opportunities was encouraged and applauded by the parents and they exonerated with pride before everyone who cared to listen, the achievements of young sons and daughters doing exceedingly well in Canada or Australia or London. But the physical distance which was a natural fall out of this situation was not easy to surmount when the need arose.
Besides, a corporate house, MNC or any employee for that matter will give priority to deadlines & profits and therefore might not be accommodating enough to permit frequent intermittent home trips at the drop of a hat. Besides, the employment constraints, there are bound to be personal issues and financial limitations as well. Is it justified to accept someone to forego everything he or she has painstakingly established and revert back? Back to what? And in nine cases out of ten I have found the elderly lot equally unwilling to give up on their own setup and move in with their children. For both generations, a compromise in terms of personal life style and independence is apparently unacceptable.
So, more often than not children choose to provide the best health care through trained professionals but even that bears the brunt of critical scrutiny as it lacks the personal touch. After all the parents never employed nannies to bring up the kids. They did it all by themselves. According to the warped and almost sadistic opinion of neighbours, friends and well-wishers, now it is payback time. And though Bollywood may applaud the sentiment but, it is pragmatically impossible to throw everything to the winds and return home like the prodigal son. Because money is the mantra of the world and the hospitals, daily need providers and the rest of the gang need to be paid in hard core currency, not in emotions.
A catch22 situation if ever there was one! But the wheels of life move on, inexorably and relentlessly. The old order must change, making way for the new. Acceptance of what is rather than lamenting what could have been will definitely make for a wiser and happier world.
