In this age of emojis and instant availability on WhatsApp, bombarding someone with messages declaring love has become so easy. Saying “I love you” to someone comes so thoughtlessly. I would argue that not many who say “I love you” understand the meaning of love. The intent could be to derive pleasure or monetary benefit, or to make someone jealous and so on.

I have seen couples that are together for decades but if you ask them whether they love their partner, the answer “Yes” seems so superficial. There is no reflection of that love in their eyes. It becomes obvious that the “Yes” is meaningless when you ask them “Why”. Most will struggle to say, “he takes care of me” or “she has given me everything all these years”. Try asking your spouse today if he/she loves you and you would realize what I mean.

The moment we establish a relationship with someone, we load them with expectations. In some sense, we start exploiting them. “I know you would cook for me today; you are my darling wife” or “I thought you love me and was expecting you to buy that ring for me”.

Love is about giving and not expecting anything in return.

If you like someone’s company, not for what you get from them but just because you like them to be around you, that is love.

Love is about companionship, friendship.

When you are happy, comfortable and going strong, you will see many “lovers” ready to give their lives for you.

Love is about sticking on together even when situations are bad. Not because you need to but because you want to.

It is also important to introspect if you are misinterpreting your sense of duty and loyalty as love.

Love knows no compulsion.

When a husband hugs his wife with the same passion even after she is past her prime, it’s love.

Your object of love is beautiful even after physical beauty ceases to exist.

Love is when a critically ill mother instinctively picks-up her crying child and comforts it. It is not her sense of duty that is driving her because picking-up is her instinct. It is not due to her expectations from the child because there is nothing that the child can give her, and she probably won’t survive to get anything from the child. It’s pure, unadulterated love.

So, honestly, have you ever loved?