We all know of the Indian tradition of bowing down and touching feet of elders and Gurus. Some Hindus touch the feet of their elders and take their blessings every day. Others bow down occasionally during festivals, family functions and life-events.

Buddhism would mandate disciples to bow down every time they see their Guru. Disciples were to prostrate in the direction of Guru even when miles apart.

To the undiscerning eye, it looks like a ritual to seek blessings. But the actual motive is to overcome ego and bring humility.

Humility touches hearts. Humility liberates us from the burden of behaving in a particular way to guard our ego. In some sense, it helps us let our hair down and enjoy life.

Few years back, I got wardrobes done for my new flat and carpenters worked three months. In the course of those three months, there were multiple instances where I got some designs changed.

It was their last day of work, and the workers were finishing off leftover tasks. Before leaving, one of them walked up to me and said (in Hindi),

” Sir, there are two ways to get work done. Speaking gently and Being Harsh/Rude. You were always gentle with us, and we liked it.”

I discussed this with a colleague of mine and he told me that speaking gently with workers doesn’t work always. Being harsh gets the work done quickly. Humility is interpreted as weakness and people take you for granted.

I recollected my interactions with vegetable vendors, plumbers, painters, security guards and cab drivers. Mostly, the experience was good, people did agree to my request, and I got what I asked for.

People are generally good and like to be treated with respect. And yes, there were instances where people did show high-handedness.

Our behavior is the core of what we are. Our upbringing, beliefs, values and parentage reflect in our behavior. Should we change that because there is a easier way?

Also, I have noticed, a person’s behavior is independent of his education, social status, financial status and possessions.

This morning, I was standing outside a supermarket. One gentleman chose to park his car in a spot that was not designated as parking. Security guard gently said “Sir, please park there” and pointed to an alternate parking spot. The gentleman spat back “Do you get 1000 cars here? How many times will you say Sir Sir Sir? It is sunny there, don’t you understand? I will park here, do what you want to”. It was so loud that everyone around heard it. I heard it too. Security guard did not say a word and let the man enter the supermarket.

The fun part is that humans change their behavior depending on whom they are speaking to.

The supermarket manager walked in and spoke to the irate gentleman and requested him to park at the designated spot. The same gentleman who took the security guard for granted, complied when the supermarket manager told him exactly the same thing.
When we see someone physically, mentally, financially weaker than us, we take the liberty to speak to them the way we wish. When we know someone is dependent on us, we do not think twice before shouting at them for their mistakes. We do not acknowledge their presence.

At the same time, we are extremely courteous when we deal with equals or someone that we consider of higher status than us.

It all boils down to our ego. When we overcome our ego, our behavior automatically becomes equitable. Overcoming ego also brings in a sense of fearlessness as we stop thinking what someone else will think if I am spotted carrying my own bag or if I am spotted buying vegetables from farmer’s market.

How has your behavior been?